December 5, 2015
She tells me that her 11-year-old son, who is on the autism spectrum, hits her and laughs. When he watches a DVD he will put his Mario Brothers backpack next to him on the couch and talk to the backpack. He carries it around and hugs it. He dumps all the shampoo down the drain.
October 28, 2015
21 years ago I held this guy in my arms for the first time and was paralyzed by the thought of how much my life would change, having no idea that it would change even more than I had thought it could. This guy, who was 6 ½ pounds, would set my life on an
September 27, 2015
There are different ways to say it: Took his own life. Self-inflicted death. Died at her own hands. Offed himself. Committed suicide. Killed herself. Multiple ways to wonder the same thing: Why? * Though her body of written work is extensive and laudable, Virginia Woolf is best known for her extended essay “A Room
August 23, 2015
It hit me today that I have reached the point where I don’t always know where Neil is – and I’m okay with that. He is in a supported living program. He’s not in college or driving. But he turns 21 in two months, and he is a walking, talking special needs success story. ~ It was
July 26, 2015
I started to hear a repetitive banging noise coming from the living room, and I yelled out, “Stop the banging!” When it did not stop, I marched out to the living room. “I said to stop the banging! What are you doing?!” I yelled again, looking at Neil, whose body was half-off the couch with
June 29, 2015
I looked up “top parenting milestones” online, since with Adam’s high school graduation this month I’ve made it to what I consider one of the biggest, and the first three pages of the search engine lists milestones for new parents. Baby milestones, like first time sitting up or cutting a tooth, most of which are
May 25, 2015
In retrospect, I can recognize the signs. It starts with agitation. I mismatch and contradict what people say. My filters are gone and I sometimes say insensitive things, things I wouldn’t normally say or would have said more diplomatically. I don’t sleep well that night. And the next day – well, the next day is
April 25, 2015
Cancer’s just a word until you witness it ravage someone you love. And if you are with that person, that loved one, when they take their last breath, it changes you forever. Sometimes in ways you wouldn’t expect. * Four years ago this month my father died of colon cancer after it had taken over
March 29, 2015
On average:33% of people who have autism will develop epilepsy at some point in their lives45% of people with developmental disabilities have at least one co-occurring mental disorder75% of people who have autism have a parent with a mental disorderThese are not good odds. But in neurobehavioral research, it’s the perfect storm.* At the age of
February 28, 2015
Sometimes Life in the Different Lane pushes you further than you ever thought you could go. I’m honored to interview my friend Elizabeth Aquino, author of the memoir Hope for a Sea Change and A Moon, Worn As If It Had Been a Shell, her blog. The exquisitely written Hope for a Sea Change chronicles
February 24, 2015
I’m delighted to announce that one of my essays has been published in Sisters Born, Sisters Found, an anthology celebrating sisterhood, edited by Laura McHale Holland. It’s a lovely book about the love of sisters, biological or not. I recently had the honor of interviewing one of my fellow contributors, Catharine Bramkamp, a writing coach,
January 27, 2015
[This post is the first in a series about looking back on aspects of my journey as a parent of an autistic child and how I feel about it now that my son is 20 years old.] * One thing you’ll find with most parents of children who have autism is that they always remember
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